My mama had a little big dream,
I wasn’t aware I wasn’t in it,
I was too tiny to know it, hence
She weaved it day in, day out.
I wasn’t even a dot in the big, bright
Canvas she painted in her dream,
While I pranced on the beach of bliss,
And grandpa fished in the sea of hope.
I wasn’t even a puny pitch in the drums
Her heart played for the love of her life,
I wasn’t even a drop in the monsoons
She cried over and again to calm her soul.
The lullaby she crooned in the quiet
Of the night wasn’t to serenade me.
Nor was the warmth of her bosom
Meant to keep me safe and snug.
All the heaves her chest breathed
Weren’t to rock me to sleep.
Nor did her lips quiver to tell me
She loved me to the moon and back.
My mama had a little big dream,
My dad’s aware he wasn’t in it,
For he knew his friend was in it,
So, they fought day in, day out.
My dad’s friend had a little big dream,
Mama wasn’t aware she wasn’t in it,
For she’s blinded by his love,
So they pinged day in, day out.
My mama had a little big dream,
And I was a spoke in her wheel.
I was too tiny to know it,
So she schemed to take me out.
I was hungry and frisking her to wet my lips,
When she scooped me in her hands,
And strutted to the rolling ocean,
That gleamed silver in the moonlight.
Her breath battered me like a storm,
Shoulders burned my cheek like the sun,
Murmurs stabbed me like a spike,
Sense of desperation froze me like ice.
She lifted me to the skies and paused,
Like grandpa did to swirl me for fun.
The Morning Star blinked in horror,
As she tossed me on to the seawall.
Like in a fall from the giant Ferris Wheel,
I crumbled like an ember, silenced forever,
As the earth stopped spinning, wind stopped
Blowing, and the ocean ceased roaring.
I lay there waiting to be picked up; hoping
to see a glimmer of love in her eyes.
But she lifted me again to douse the last
flicker of life that she bore in her womb.
My brittle skull hit the rocks in her violent swing,
Bulged eyes rolled to freeze one last glimpse,
Inky skies showered stardust on my body,
While breaking waves sprinkled holy water.
“Viyan, drink the milk,” grandpa pleaded,
“Viyan, scare the crow and myna swooping
Down to steal the fish,” grandma ordered.
“Viyan, give me a kiss,” papa begged.
Her long dark hair flowing down her back,
Glistened in the moonlight as she turned,
She betrayed no emotion, nor shed a tear,
She’s my mama once upon no time.
